ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
