There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
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He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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