Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
