So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
