Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
