I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
