he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
