guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
