So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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