My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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