im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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