I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
