I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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