covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
