just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
