Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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