I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
