Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
