We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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