I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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