this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
