no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
only if we run a train.
done.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
