I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We have started to decorate penises.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
