Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
