This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Found your dick twin last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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