I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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