he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
