apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
