im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
