If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
