You made me cry and you don't even care
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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