I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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