sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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