the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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