Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
