I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
