My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
