Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
