I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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