we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize