I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
