no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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