apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
