I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
