There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
