I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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