batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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