He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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