I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
