wat bout pragnant strippers??
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
