this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
