If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sex in a hospital.. check
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
