I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
