i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
