she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
not ubering you a puppy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
