i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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