Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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