That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
