I wish I could punch you in the face.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
