Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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