I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
