he wants to bone in the snuggie
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
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also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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