I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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