Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
